I'm Here
by Twilightholic-Tanya
Summary: “I wish you could be with me,” she breathed... “I’m here,” I told her... related to Dreaming of My Immortal One Shot


_Okay this is just a one-shot and that is all. It is sort of a take out from my original story __Dreaming of My Immortal__. It's from Edward's POV and I just loved writing it. It was sorta a bit of closure for me. _

_This story would probably make more sense if you read Dreaming of My Immortal, but I don't think it's necessary. I'm pretty sure you'll be able to understand what's going on, but do know that this is part of a longer story. _

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"Edward!"

Bella.

I saw her. I could hear her.

Images seemed to flash behind my closed lids. Her smile, her laugh, her eyes, her face and natural glow. She was everywhere.

The scenes were happy and filled with love, but her voice seemed to shatter them. Like glass breaking into millions of pieces and falling like small diamonds.

Her voice was fearful and angry and desperate. Every ounce of me was determined to take that away. To wipe the tears and soothe the tremble. That was my purpose. To make her happy.

I tried to open my eyes, to move but I found I couldn't.

I felt pain. I could not actually feel pain, but I knew I was supposed to yet I could not actually feel it. It was the weirdest sensation. Like eating a sweet piece of chocolate and knowing how it should taste on your tongue but not actually able to taste the sweet flavors.

I could hear her sobs in the distance and they brought along new images.

I could see her. Standing in the middle of the road. Her hair clung to her face in thick stringy clumps and her clothes stuck to her like a second skin. Her eyes were light with forgiveness and love and relief.

Something changed in the moment. Her head turned and stared at the pair of swerving head lights.

When she looked back at me, I could see the goodbye and fear in her eyes. She was telling me goodbye with a single look and my heart broke.

I ran.

I forced her out of the way ignoring her scream of protest and as soon as I pushed her out of the way, I was hit.

My eyes flew open and I was on my feet.

I took a moment to study my surroundings.

Crowds of people and cars seemed to be everywhere. Rain fell in a steady beat but I could not feel the cold sting of droplets on my skin. I could not smell the scent of water and leaves and dirt in the air.

I could not find her.

Something caught my eyes and a breath seemed to escape me.

I was in the hands of paramedics that wore grim expressions and just like the force that had hit me before, I came to realize what had happen.

No, Damn it! I couldn't be! I didn't even have a chance to fight. I stared at myself, shocked and paralyzed. I thought of Bella.

My Bella. The very precious person I had fallen in love with, the girl who feared to love me, because I could hurt, my Bella was alone. All the promises I had ever made her were broken.

In that moment my heart broke.

--

The funeral was held 5 days after the incident.

The summer day was gray and blurry. The skies threatened rain and the air was dry and thick. I could imagine the air smelling like freshly dug earth, but I could not smell it myself.

I sat on a gravestone a few yards away from where my body was being buried.

I had wondered why I was here. Why I had not gone to the place the dead should go, but then I caught a glimpse of her face and I knew why I was here.

I was surprised to see how many people had actually shown up. People I hadn't seen in years were mourning my death. Family had traveled from different countries to come. Most of Bella's family was there as well.

I watched as a silent observer.

My mother held to my father as tears silently fell down her cheeks in a never ending flow. My father held a look of pain and grief and kept his tears back. He tried to be strong for her, and I respected him for it.

Alice stared at nothing, silent sobs shaking her shoulders as Jasper rested his palm on her lower back. Jasper bowed his head. Just touching Alice seemed enough to calm her

Emmett held tight to Rose. Her tears seemed to fall one at a time. His tears seemed to escape his eyes without permission and held tight to Rosalie's waist as he occasionally buried his face in her blonde curls. She wrapped her arms around his and tried to comfort him.

Every family held a different and sad show of grief. Each had struck a blow to my heart but the worst was Bella.

She stood there watching as the priest spoke and they lowered the casket.

She kept her hands folded and her eyes glazed off.

She did not cry.

Her expression or hurt and betrayal and sadness seemed to float around her.

She had no life behind her eyes and that was the worst show of grief and she was the final blow that seemed to tear my heart completely.

She was gone just as I was.

Slowly the rain drops began to fall, one at a time as though the sky had come to the same realization.

-.-

"Bella you have to eat something," Alice begged as she pushed the plate of spaghetti toward her.

My hands cradled my head as I stared at the patterns of the table.

_Straight_

_Swirl_

_Straight_

_Swirl_

I didn't dare meet Bella's eyes. 3 weeks passed and she had not had a proper meal. Nibbled on bread or crackers. Drank hardly anything but water. She grew thinner by the second and her color slowly washed away from her like watching the summer leaves turn for autumn.

Her eyes grew more and more distant and she looked more like the dead than the living. It killed me to watch her like this. To watch her suffer and slowly kill herself because I wasn't there to encourage her not to give up.

Alice had cried harder than I have ever seen her cry and I could do nothing to comfort her. I couldn't calm her and whisper soothing words like I use to.

I was the cause of everyone's suffering. Everyone's grief and everyone's problem.

The only one able to move on was Esme.

She cried and mourned and did her best to act normal. She did it for me, and I could never show her how grateful I was.

"I'm not hungry," Bella said softly and I lifted my head to stare at her.

"Bella, he doesn't want this! Do you think he wants to see you live _like this_?" Alice was careful to not use my name with her, but her words had been enough. The small flash of life in her eyes was warning enough to what was coming.

She stood abruptly knocking the chair she had sat on behind her. It clattered and filled the small kitchen with noise and tension.

"What the hell do you know of what he wants? Did he want to leave? Is that why he's gone?!" she shouted and I could see Alice flinch slightly. Bella flipped the plate making it land on the floor and having the food splatter along the floor and wall.

I stood as well and followed Bella as she stormed off into the bedroom.

I walked in and sat on the bed. She slammed the door shaking the walls and the dressers slightly and let out an ear piercing scream. She walked to the bed and fumbled with the wedding ring. When she got it off she threw it toward the dresser where several pictures stood.

She threw with such force, it hit a picture and the glass cracked as it toppled onto the floor.

The ring bounced on the floor once, twice, three times before it rolled to a stop shinning brightly in the dying sun that seemed to creep its orange fingers into the bedroom.

I stood from the bed as she screamed once more and lay on the bed.

I crouched on ground and picked up the pictures.

To her the picture would lie, still on the floor never moving an inch. To me, I could feel the deep cut underneath my fingertip and I could hold the fragile frame.

The picture was one on our wedding day.

It wasn't photographed. Emmett had played with a camera snapping pictures of unaware guests. He was planning on making a photo album of the wedding 'uncut'.

I smiled.

We had been dancing ignoring the others around us. There was no one but us there.

Her arms twined around my neck and my forehead lightly touched hers. A small smile played at the end of her lips while I wore a full blown smirk.

She was finally mine.

I closed my eyes and let the picture fall.

I stood and glanced at her where her shoulders were shaking.

I froze.

She had not cried at all. I had not seen a single tear fall from her eyes all of these 3 weeks yet she laid on the bed her shoulders shaking as though she was ready to fall apart.

"No, Bella," I whispered slowly and her sobbing stuttered before it grew stronger.

I had been wrong. Her silence was nothing compared to the pain of her tears. I walked slowly over to her and sat at the end of the bed. Slowly I rubbed her back, as though I could help her, as though she could feel me trying to comfort her.

She mumbled into the pillow and I knew I was truly dead, because the pain the words brought would have surely killed me. The words were directed at me.

"I hate you."

--

The ring was back on her finger.

She lay in the bed her knees curled to her chest and her shoulders shook slightly.

Since she started crying she hadn't stopped.

My cell phone was in her hands. She had listened to my voice mail over and over desperate to hear my voice.

I lay next to her tracing small and large circles into her arm.

It amazed me how I could feel her cold smooth skin underneath my fingertips and she had clue that I had not left her side. She didn't know I was still there. She didn't know that I couldn't leave. I was tied to her and she would never know.

"It's like your still here," she breathed taking in a deep breath and I placed my whole palm on her hand. I trailed it down to her hand and held it. I scooted closer until I could feel her along me and I buried my face in her hair.

I couldn't take in her scent. But I remembered it closely and I could pretend to hold her.

"I'm here," I told her and her breath caught. She choked back a sob and bit her lip as sloppy tears rolled down her cheeks and she fell deeply asleep for the first time I could remember since my death.

--

I lay on the couch. My head rested on her lap and I relished in memories.

I remembered when she would run her fingers in my hair and place kisses on my temple and hold my hand and giggle at my words. I remembered when she read one of her favorite passages aloud. I remembered falling asleep as she watched her movies late at night.

She just sat there. And I just lay.

"How can I miss you so damn much?" she asked silently and I felt my self shrug.

I kept forgetting she couldn't see.

"The same way I miss you," I informed her staring at the tears that clung to her chin waiting to fall.

"Why can I still hear you!" she shouted and stood quickly as she ran back to the bedroom.

I sat up quickly and started at her retreating form. I followed as she curled in the bed. Holding tight to herself and let the tears slip past her cheeks making a small puddle and darkening the white sheets.

"Bella?" I said quietly and watched her face as she looked up able to hear me, but not see me. I knew now why she sobbed harder when I spoke. Why she curled tighter when I touched her.

I crawled next to her and wrapped my arms around her kissing her temple and she sighed.

"I knew love would hurt," she told me and I laughed silently. A small smile lifted her lip and I felt happy again. it was such a change from the depression that seemed to control her face.

"You have a lovely smile. It makes me happy to see it," I whispered and she blushed. The first sign of color I had seen in her face for over two months.

"You're still here aren't you? You're still with me?" she asked as she curled closer to me and I held on tighter.

"I'm here," I said softly repeating the words I had told her nights ago.

She cried softly and shook her head.

"I wish you really were," she whispered and I knew what she meant.

"Me too, Bella. Me too."

_END_

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**Okay well I thought this was just something fun to write and I wouldn't be able to sleep if I didn't finish it. it just highlights the first time Bella starts to hear him, and I loved writing it. **

**I hoped you liked reading it as well. I would love reviews!**

**Truly Twilightholic-Tanya**


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